by Laramore Black:
On the eve of our religiously sealed monogamy there was a flame burning in my soul. A revelation of hidden disdain for the mediocre and an acknowledgement to the fact I’ve made my love impossible to last. That she, like the others would find herself bound for another destination, drifting from night to night with complete strangers.
Staring into her deep hazel eyes with my arms wrapped around her milk white body leads me to question there’s a possibility of our future coming to an end. How can a story such as ours wane into the background of history at the convalescence of a single sunrise? What does it matter if my passion isn’t enough to keep her? She is here this evening and many more to come.
Her lips ignite me.
They send me into a twilight voyage of lust.
If the day comes where I must love her from a distance, my passion will grow to reveal the weakness of the fraud beside her. If my love proves to be too weak, my only choice is to find exercise until my heart pounds out of my chest to find her. It’s this night. It’s this feeling now that provides assurance we are different than the others and the roots will only grow stronger, while others are but spores attempting to migrate into our vast forest.
It’s this moment now, extending her legs to envelope my heart I know she is the love spoken of by others to search for and the entire world has the potential to be perfect.
Here, in the arms of my missing half I once never knew – I am complete – and sleep for those with their souls entangled in the intoxicating dance of love only follows a struggle for breath and an attempt to conjure the strength to speak three words.
“I love you.”
And if they are truly the one, they compose four: “I love you more.”
I woke at dawn from sun beams illuminating the room from between the blinds covering the window. There was no need to start the day yet and no biological reason important enough to leave the warmth of the bed. Bonnie was still sound asleep and facing my direction. Her breath so calm and in a light, but evenly spaced tempo mesmerized my attention – making any remnants of the doubtful thoughts of last night once again fade from my mind.
The alarm clock interrupts my focus.
It’s 10:30 AM.
The wedding ceremony starts at 3:00 PM.
“How long have you been awake?” Bonnie asks.
“Not long,” I answer, unsure of how long I had.
Soon the rush of hygienic preparation will begin, along with her disappearance to be put in her dress, and finally followed by nothing but the looming anxiety of all the familiar and strange eyes judging and congratulating our union.
“We should probably get up,” Bonnie says. “We don’t have very long.”
“Well, I say if we share the shower we have plenty of time.”
Bonnie smiles and lifts the concave created by the blanket overnight, pressing her bare body against mine.
“Then what do you have in mind?”
I lean in to kiss her, but she stops me with another question.
“Can you imagine what this day is like for virgins?”
“No,” I say. “But I have a feeling I’ll know what it’s like to be celibate for AT LEAST six more hours…”
Bonnie laughs, “Have I ever told you how fucking romantic you are?”
“Every single day – and hopefully all to come.”
“Awe,” she says. “You really are.”
“Yeah, I just told you that.”
We continued to lie in bed with smiles on our faces for another hour before we took our shower (without any funny business, unfortunately). Soon her mother arrived to whisk her away for make-up and dressings, while I waited for Sean’s arrival. Who wasn’t very punctual as usual, so I found myself sitting outside the apartment with my suit already on.
Luckily, he also arrived with his suit in proper order so we could head that way.
“How does it feel to know the rest of your life is over?” Sean jokes as I’m getting in the car.
“How does it feel to know I’m the only one getting laid tonight?” I throw back.
“Touché, sir. Too-fuckin-shayyy.”
Halfway through the drive, bored with the silence of the drive I turn the radio on to find that Panic! at the Disco song talking about the groom’s bride being a whore.
Sean laughs, “You know that is totally a bad omen, right?”
“I know – haha – maybe we should just turn this car around.”
“Unfortunately, I was given the responsibility to get you there.”
Upon our arrival at the manor we were bombarded by the photographers hired by Bonnie’s parents, whom continually forced us to pose for pictures and platitudes of other shots with the ring on my finger, then forced into a room upstairs until the ceremony began.
First Sean left the room to walk the maid of honor Annabelle downstairs – his red tie and her dress meticulously matching in hue. Bonnie’s mother Christine and I went down next, where she found her seat and I took my place at the altar.
Bonnie looked majestic walking down the stairs slowly with her father as our song, If You Leave Before Me played in place of the traditional organ. Her hair was made up to emulate Audrey Hepburn along with the trademark pearls to match and her elegant dress revealed her tattoo of a carousel horse I’ve come to more than adore.
Her father hands her off to the preacher and the ceremony begins.
“Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the joining of Phillip Rose and Bonnie Fritz in marriage. With love and commitment, they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife.”
I noticed Bonnie’s hands were shaking so I made sure she saw me smiling – she returned a smile as her eyes welled up with the moisture of emotions. I noticed I was nervous too and was soon fighting back tears as well. So much of my energy was focused on not crying, I spaced off through most of the ceremony until the important part.
“Do you Bonnie Fritz, take Phillip Rose to be your wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?”
“I do,” Bonnie says.
“Do you Phillip Rose take Bonnie Fritz, to be your partner in life and sharing your path; equal in love, a mirror for your true self, promising to honor and cherish, through good times and bad, until death do you part?”
The words can’t leave my lips. I search the room for the answer why from friends and family, but all their expressions seem paused. Turning toward Bonnie, I see she’s the same.
“What’s happen–,” I begin to say out loud.
Bonnie’s eyelids flutter, sending ripples across the reality in front of me. Her pupils begin to twirl black around the hazel and whites of her eyes, growing to engulf her face like two separate black holes. I attempt to run away across the room, but find myself stuck in place.
I watch as the colors drain from the room and the people I know swirl into nothing, until I’m standing in an endless and empty eclipse of darkness…
Alone in an absolute void.
About the book:
Meet Phillip Rose, a failing young author who has an obsession with the idea of his own death. That is – until he starts falling for Bonnie Fritz, a bibliophile and punk rock degenerate that makes him feel alive again. Attempts to commit suicide are a common occurrence in his life and used as a secret ritual of forgiveness for his lack of creativity and potential to achieve greatness. A secret he hides well from his only human source of affection.
Soon a series of flirtations with death make him suspicious when he notices each one brings an additional positive change to his life and Phillip is thrust into adulthood where he must put an end to his dark vice. However, on the verge of what appears to finally be complete happiness, Phillip falls into a purgatory of his past memories and subconscious thoughts to contend with the monster he will someday become.
About the author:
Laramore Black is a dark fiction writer from the American Midwest whose work tends to showcase the best or worst in all people. He is also the founder and lead editor of Slit Your Wrists! Magazine. His first publication recently appeared in Out Of The Gutter Online. Please feel free to stalk him on Facebook or Twitter.
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